*

abandon ship

2012-01-01T14:33:00.002-08:00

i want to thank everyone for reading over the last few years. it has been a great run, but as is the case with my regular life, some good things must come to an end.

i'm finding happiness in tumblr
and in live art modelling
and in my other work

and not in the pressure to blog to maintain readership.

so, farewell!

love december!

2011-12-06T12:26:00.002-08:00

yes! december!

2011-12-02T11:13:00.002-08:00

cannot.wait.to.go.here.

www.bigwhite.com

decemberween

2011-12-01T21:03:00.000-08:00

what other guy loves you like that?

2011-11-25T20:34:00.000-08:00

so i was on my way to work a couple months ago and heard this song play. i had no idea who was singing until the announcer, well, announced it.
now, i am not a fan of leonard cohen's singing voice, but i have always been a fan of his poetry. in fact, one of my all time favourite collections is called 15 canadian poets x 2. i used to have a copy of it, from a school course, but somewhere along the way got rid of it, among other treasures, and will eventually buy another copy.
so it shouldn't really surprise me that this song, by leonard's son adam, captured my attention.
the lyrics are sublime

and, of course, i have already learned to play my own version of it on the guitar

enjoy

40

2011-11-23T17:04:00.000-08:00

well, so far, having turned 40 has made absolutely no difference in my life other than the fact that I can now officially say I am 40 when asked my age.

yes, people ask me how old I am all.the.time.

yes, I have been saying 40 for a long time, too. I figured I might as well get used to the number.

but, no ... nothing has changed.

I still stayed up too late last night, subsequently slept in this morning, gave myself a pretty bad hair-do, took my oatmeal with me.in a bowl.to work.to eat.along with hot chocolate.for breakfast then spilled roasted red pepper soup on my new white button down at lunch.
it stained
it made me cranky
so I ate a cupcake

the only thing that really made me think about my age today happened during a therapy session.

the task, in particular, was for me to say a series of numbers that the client repeats, then plays on my mini glockenspiel. the tunes are simple, like mary had a little lamb and doe a dear ... but this client didn't know any of the good ole songs

I challenged him on it. like, you're kidding me that you don't recognize any of these, right? cause I learned these back in school! that's when he said it:

well, you're old, mrs. campbell

39 steps

2011-11-19T22:16:00.000-08:00

well, honestly, that's just about what it felt like!

i converted to dynamic views back in october and it has given me grief ever since. i seriously hope that by the time everyone 'has' to switch, they have figured some stuff out. i mean, i have been busy with life and all but it isn't like i didn't try to post.

i just.plain.couldn't.

nope. took me almost an hour tonight just to find a way to sign in ... which was through a google search asking why my blog was busted, basically.

so, here i am again, ironically during national blog posting month, with exactly three posts to date.

awesome.

in other news, i did something completely out of character for me ... i purchased a pre-lit christmas tree, assembled it and decorated it.
i usually make myself wait until the weekend after my birthday
and i would have normally scoffed at a fake, pre-lit tree
but after experiencing it, i'd have to say i'm almost converted

and it looks pretty snazzy

and if i could figure out how to sync my iphone pictures to this new laptop, i'd even show you

remembering

2011-11-11T11:24:00.001-08:00

this is the first time i have lived in a place where remembrance day is actually a holiday. i must confess i am a little baffled by it. for so many years i wondered what the point of a "week" of sort of remembering was, especially to kids. the war seems so far removed from most of our daily lives, especially, perhaps, as canadians. i do have a handful of friends who have relatives that served just recently, but a handful is all i know. my uncle had a uniform from the canadian air force, but i am pretty sure i remember mom saying that he didn't get to serve much because his eyesight was considered to be too poor.

i used to put that uniform on
the hat was my favourite part
the thing i remember the most about it was how incredibly itchy the material was, and it made me wonder how anyone could stand it
but maybe that was partly the point ... that constant reminder ... a continual small pain ... just enough to make you want to do something about it

i did not attend any ceremonies or services today. i don't usually. but i am listening to a beautiful remembrance day edition of tempo on cbc and i am finding myself incredibly moved by symphony of sorrowful songs by henryk gorecki. i had no idea that notes could get that low and that under my skin

remembering

almost there

2011-11-07T10:29:00.000-08:00

i'm not attempting to squeeze in "40 things to do before 40" or any kind of bucket list here (i only think i know what that is. haven't seen the movie, or read the book, whatever format it comes in) but i am getting comfortable in my own skin, finally.

i've been finding opportunities to express myself in ways i was never able to before moving here

and i'm listening to the nudging that, oddly enough, comes from inside my own noggin.
sometimes it seeps out, warmly and pleasantly, from the throat of a trusted friend.

it often sounds something like i no longer feel compelled to apologize for who i am and what i choose to do with my life, especially when those things are such a part of me that at this stage of the game, they can no longer be ignored. and i am not interested in changing those things that might make you squirm, or question or even prod you to sit me down so you can have a "chat" with me.

nope.

i definitely wasn't raised that way. i know where i come from and who made me and this is all part of it.

this is my life.
this is me exhaling.

see what I've been up to

2011-11-06T20:39:00.001-08:00

between months

2011-10-30T19:13:00.000-07:00

so, in case there was any doubt, i AM that girl who goes to the grocery store and picks out all the candy SHE wants to eat, buys it, and proceeds to make herself a goody bag ... just in case.

and, yes, it makes me happy.

tootsie rolls were left off the list and might just be purchased when halloween candy goes on sale. i love the tootsie stuff.

original kisses did make the list. i love that molasses candy, even when it gets stuck to my teeth and just.won't.come.off

tomorrow night is a movember kick off at chop. i'll dig out the movember tee and go for half price wine and post some pics later.

happy halloween!

the creep

2011-10-29T15:16:00.003-07:00

* this is a piece of fiction

What do you do with something you remember like it was yesterday, only you should, really, have forgotten it a long, long time ago? It happened so quickly ... I wonder if it was just a dream.

Kim and I wanted to go for a walk downtown. I can’t remember if we asked permission or not. We were mature. All of seventeen. Maybe there wasn’t anyone to ask permission from. My dad would have been at the pub, or at work. Ditto for Kim’s parents. Not much happening in the supervision department in those reckless days. I remember thinking that drinking International Foods coffee and sneaking Rothman’s Extra Mild’s made me an adult. How stupid I was, looking back.

I don’t think we had been drinking that night; it would have made little difference if we had. The timing was wrong, the lighting was wrong, the scenery was wrong ... everything was just wrong.

We should have stayed at her house, eating over-salted popcorn and writing unrequited love poems. We never should have left the comfort of her room, the waterbed warm and inviting, never too cramped for a couple of grown-up teenage girls and their clandestine dreams.

As often as possible we would share our compositions, imagining how they would look in print thumbing through magazines promising awards of money for the best poem. I knew Kim would make it some day ... as a poet. Her words were rich, alive; she had already been in love. She had already “done it”. I was witnessing a master, only she humbled herself enough to call me friend, too.

We had finished writing, the popcorn bowl emptied, but our souls were longing for inspiration, so we walked. I guess we walked a little too far that night. I really can’t remember.

It felt as though we had been transported in some ways, one minute at home, innocent and insulated, the next hurled through both time and space, never to be the same. I think she saw him first, lighted in the graffiti-filled tunnel. We had stopped to see if anyone had added to what we had already inscribed on the concrete.

Kim loves Steve.

Nothing we could find, anyway. We checked over our shoulders and noticed someone walking through the cement tunnel maybe 20 feet away. We screwed up our noses in disgust. Why should we have to share “our” space and time with anyone? Didn’t this creep realize that this was our moment? I mean, who goes for a walk after midnight on a Sunday night anyway? What was his problem?

We giggled to ourselves, full of secret understanding as all young girls do and started leisurely walking out of the tunnel. We weren’t afraid of much, just that maybe Steve would find the writing on the tunnel wall and declare his disgust, in return for Kim’s love.

Maybe.

Being afraid in our small town never occurred to us. We had gone all this time without incident ... why wonder now? The lights in the tunnel seemed to be dimming somehow, or maybe that was just my imagination.
I don’t really remember.
I do know that we did another over the shoulder check, as best friends do, in synch, without words. There he was.

Again.

Still.

Now we wondered.

The once vast and spacious tunnel was beginning to feel claustrophobic. I started to sweat, a
little. I couldn’t understand why it was that if we went left, the creep did, too. We crossed
right. So did he.

This wasn’t ok.

Kim told me to run, so I did, holding tightly to her hand, praying that she wouldn’t let go. I
checked over my shoulder again ... creep was running.God! What does this mean? Why is he doing everything that I am doing? Are you asking him to? I don’t understand. I just want to go for a walk with my friend. Am I doing something wrong? Why won’t he turn around and go away? How long is this going to last?

I don’t like this.

I want this to stop.

I stop.

We both stop. We turn around to look at the creep. I think he is dressed in white, head to toe. This strikes me as being ironic. How can someone who is stalking you look so angelic?
I want to tell you exactly what he looked like, but I really don’t remember. His head was down, that much I do know. I think he was wearing cowboy boots. His hair was blonde and a bit long and stringy.

Just like a creep.

His eyes were blue, I guess, but not the kind of blue that makes you think of summer skies or swimming in the lake or playing marbles as a kid, in the schoolyard. His eyes were blue like neglect. The blue that comes when you just choose a colour out of the crayon box at random or the kind of blue that you pick out of default. Just blue. Not just at all.

He had his head down, like I said, and I was standing there, wondering, when he ran at me, grabbing me and uttering this sound like a dog might make if he was hungry and hadn’t been fed for a while. Or like a train just picking up speed. Maybe it was a word that got mixed up in his mind before he spoke it, like sorry, only when I heard it, it was so twisted it no longer made sense.

In any case, he made a sound, and though I can’t remember exactly where he grabbed me, in an instant I knew what it was he wanted, and it left me with bruises. Good thing my feet were planted, ‘cause he couldn’t get me down.

He didn’t know I could kick so hard.

I know he ran away at least once, but he kept coming back. I wanted him to just go away and leave me alone. Didn’t he know that I only wanted to go for a walk? Didn’t he know that I was innocent? Didn’t he have somewhere else to go?

Kim ran.
I don’t blame her.

*******************************

The next day, when the police came to my house, I got to look through a big book full of pictures. Pictures of creeps. They told me they knew exactly who it was that had hurt me. All I had to do was point to his picture in the photo album, but I couldn’t remember.

He had had his head down and he was wearing cowboy boots. Look for the creep with his head down. They all looked the same.

I made my choice then they asked me what he was wearing. How could I forget? He was dressed all in white, like a freaking angel, and he was wearing cowboy boots ... that I know. The next day, at school, I asked Kim if the police had come to her house. She said they had, and she told them what he looked like.

Kim told them he was wearing sneakers.

I guess I couldn’t remember much.

Just the noise he made every time he grabbed me. And how the story sounded to my ears when I read it in the paper.
They called it an attempted assault. They said he walked away.

I am done walking, and I am trying to forget.

between years

2011-10-28T20:51:00.000-07:00

only a few more days left until the big month ... november.
i vacillate between excitement (because i truly love my birthday) and amazement that it's really the big one.
the middle of the proverbial road
just seemed like 40 was so far away but now it's on the doorstep

30 wasn't so bad, in retrospect

and i'm actually kind of looking forward to this next phase. really.
i mean, why not?
my oldest told me that "lots" of people are still making great music in their 40's so there is plenty of hope for me

awesome

and sarah?
i wrote this on my new mac :)

between seasons

2011-10-23T19:09:00.001-07:00

i've been here before, a few years ago.
i started feeling like blogging was getting to be a burden rather than a release.
sometimes it's just because i am so busy going here and there that i just don't have the time to sit down and get creative on the computer.
other times it's just because i can't seem to come up with anything worth writing and posting
partly it's because i don't have the time to sit down and read my friend's blog posts, even though i really want to

really, i do

so i guess the october theme of between is far more appropriate than i first thought

as a happy consolation, however, in between posts, i have been super duper busy:

at the best job in the world
attending workshops
presenting at workshops
learning a new computer program
attending training so i can administer more tests
going to live drawing sessions
eating out (my personal favourite)
watching amazing live theatre
and
wine tasting

you?

between seats

2011-10-19T10:24:00.000-07:00

i went to put the kettle on, for tea, and saw the cats have invaded yet another new spot.

i guess i can't really blame them ... we are all in serious like with our new table and chairs, too

Japadog love

2011-10-17T20:16:00.002-07:00

now i have to confess that all i ate off the japadog was a thin strip of nori. it is hard to believe that i passed up a hotdog from a reknown hotdog stand but i did.

it wasn't even because i had had a particularly large breakfast. two eggos, some tropicana and a babybel cheese did not fill me up.

no ... i was a holdout for the ikea dog. i was counting the cost and salivating over the 50 cent delight that was only a twenty minute drive away.

or so i thought.

it would appear that the price has gone up to seventy-five now.
and they wouldn't accept a bottle of water or a small chocolate milk as a "beverage" to make the $2 deal either.

and i didn't get to take home the 2012 ferrari, even though i stood and stared at it, patiently, for what felt like twenty minutes, in true good things come to those who wait style.

it was a sad, sad sunday in kristinaland

wordless weekend

2011-10-15T17:53:00.000-07:00

ferry with a friend from back home

2011-10-14T08:56:00.001-07:00

I am not sure how it keeps happening, but every single weekend is as perfect as the one before it.

I'll take it

in between years

2011-10-13T19:30:00.000-07:00

Which was the best year of your life (so far)?

this is a fun question to ponder. I know that the last year of my life that I consider I existed in a blissfully unaware state was 8, and this remains my absolute favourite number.

8 was the year it felt like we went to the cottage every.single.weekend. though I doubt that was the reality. 8 was the year I remember my mom let me splash around in the concrete pool at Ontario Place. 8 had me at Centre Island, Casa Loma, the X AND 8 was how old I was when I was riding in the outdoor elevator up to the top of the CN Tower when my balloon popped and nearly every adult on board had a mini stroke of fear.

I was oblivious

8 was the last time I remember sitting on my uncle's lap
8 was when I lost a bunch of teeth up north and raked in a pile of cash because everyone visiting that night thought they should pitch in

8 was the year my brother and I thought we were allowed to open every single jar of jam my aunt had in her cupboard and try them out in little squares on our toast when the adults weren't out of bed yet
8 was the age I fractured and dislocated my arm, contracted the mumps on both sides, got german measles and maybe even rubella. maybe I made that up. you'll have to forgive me ... it's my 8 year old's memory.
8 was the age I started singing both solos and duets, taking the alto harmony, and when I began performing in community theatre
8 was also the year of awakenings. I started to notice things about people, namely my relatives, that I had never noticed before.
8 had me starting to grow up

I am not convinced that 8 was the best year of my life, but it was most definitely the start of something(s) new

thanksgiving with friends

2011-10-10T10:09:00.001-07:00

some excellent people here in the valley invited us to share a meal with them and what seemed like a ton of other excellent people on sunday. the food was most excellent, and from my view at the kid's table, everyone was having a fine time.

the woody's wasn't too shabby, either. hope your thanksgiving was happy

cheers!

wordless weekend

2011-10-09T19:08:00.000-07:00

wordless weekend

2011-10-08T10:06:00.001-07:00

i'll get right on that

2011-10-07T09:25:00.000-07:00

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ferris

2011-10-06T07:57:00.001-07:00

sometimes (ok, most times) i get these thoughts in my head about all the fantastic movies i watched when i was my kid's ages. i don't scour the internet looking to buy them on ebay or amazon or anything, but i do usually look up the title so i can be reminded, again, of what the basic premise was or who starred in it.

the other day we were in winners, looking for fleece sort of pants for my oldest. he left on an outdoor education class trip and needed them. my sons wearing jogging type pants is actually pretty hysterical but that's another post. while they were looking at boy stuff, i happened to spy a collection of dvd's ... ferris bueller's day off.

HA! we had been trying to track that one down ever since one of my sons watched most of it in english class (yah. not kidding)

last night was tea, apple pie and movie night.
i had totally forgotten how much swearing was in the movie but man did it make me smile ... the movie, not the swearing. when oldest gets back from camping tomorrow, it might just be movie night again.

between

2011-10-03T15:13:00.000-07:00

seems these days i am finding myself between a lot of things, finding my new place and that new balance between work and pleasure (though i am one of those lucky ones who truly loves my work as much as my time away from it)

so far so good

really wishing you were here to share it ...

return to music

2011-09-29T22:55:00.000-07:00

it's been so crazy busy this last month that my guitar sits unused a lot

it's been painful

so i went to a local music store to make a purchase

it will all come around again soon

i can smell it

return to fall

2011-09-26T21:37:00.002-07:00

today it rained for the first time (that I noticed) since moving here and it had chicken pot pie written all over it

I tried yet another gluten, wheat and dairy free recipe from cooking for isaiah and it went over amazingly well

yah for recipes that work!

I would use less crust than the recipe made as it turned out pretty thick on top but I didn't feel like spending a lot of time rolling dough so I really really cheated and just used my fingers to spread it out while it was wrapped in saran

happily impressed and with a full belly

return to fall

2011-09-26T21:37:00.000-07:00

return to health

2011-09-25T20:51:00.000-07:00

I should have known something was up on tuesday.
I NEVER leave a good nighttime snack go to waste like I did that night
I don't often ask to be taken home early either
and I am hardly ever in bed before 11

today is the first day I am feeling mostly normal after picking up a nasty bug. Three of the four of us have it. It could definitely be worse, I know, but I just started my new job and it's really REALLY bad timing

perfect day to watch useless shows on a new tv.
in less than one week, I went from watching next to no television in six years to having cable and three televisions to choose from.

weird
but cool
and I'll admit it ... tv? I totally missed you

return to bed

2011-09-21T15:24:00.000-07:00

I tried to go out last night

I knew it was going to be a lost cause
but I tried anyway
I made it to the place

I ordered a nice drink

later
I ordered a nice dessert

and a water

I lasted through the first performer
who I actually really liked

then almost three songs of the second performer
who had five dudes, as they announced,
all of them with microphones

somehow
all singing exactly.the.same.notes.

wow

so I finally announced that I had to go home
drink mostly untouched
dessert only partly eaten
happy to have gotten some fresh air at least

happier to have found my bed again

2011-09-19T18:51:00.000-07:00

see how happy i look, holding this jar of fluff?
an item i have actually said, out loud even, that i would never buy.

well, since beginning our gluten/wheat/dairy free sort of journey, i bought a fantastic cookbook and so far am so impressed. and she said i could buy fluff.
(and i say sort of because only one of us has given up dairy, and i only eat gluten/wheat free when the one of us who has sensitivities is around for meals, so maybe two meals a day for me).

this is going to be breakfast tomorrow.

before you go all why the heck did you buy fluff on me, just don't.
what goes around comes around. and i am pretty sure it did when the empty tupperware container in my pantry fell squarely on my noggin.
i had no idea it would hurt so much or i would have tried blocking it when i first noticed it falling toward me.

the pancakes tomorrow better be worth it.

returning to my muse

2011-09-18T19:17:00.000-07:00

hopefully
soon
i'll feel creative again

sent it back

2011-09-17T10:41:00.000-07:00

Have you ever returned a meal to a restaurant kitchen? What did you order?

well, no
not exactly,
but this prompt was kind of appropriate for today considering the fact that for the absolute first time i can ever recall i told someone i.did.not.like.what.they.made.for.me.

unless you really really know me, you would have no idea how almost cataclysmic that is in my wee world. we are talking mind-blowingly, hugely worth noting wow-ness.

i have never told someone that what they served me was not cool (excepting my mom and it never got me anywhere so i stopped ... eventually)

but today i had a DQ craving and neal happily indulged me seeing as it was something on the 2 for $4 menu. but the problem came when i made an assumption and right now i can picture mr. maclean, in grade 6, saying you know what happens when you assume

well, we orderd two dipped cones, but i NEVER GET CHOCOLATE
ever
as a rule

i GET BUTTERSCOTCH
always
as a rule

but as she started dipping my ice creamy goodness into the vat of waxy brown dip it was too late, even though i put my hand up to signal her to please, for the love of God, stop!

and then she handed it to me
and i turned to neal and handed it to him
and i believe i actually made a very immature face and said, outloud, that i would not eat it
i do not believe i stamped my three year old foot but i wanted to

instead

i turned to the boy who was now behind the counter and calmly told him that had i realized i was going to be given no choice in dip, i would have asked for a plain cone. and i told him "i don't like chocolate dip. could you make me another one, not dipped?"

and by gosh and by golly he said "sure"
and totally made me a new cone
and handed it to me and said "here you go"

and i almost didn't know what to do next
but i figured it out
and it was the sweetest cone i've eaten in a long, long time

5ifty

2011-09-15T22:57:00.000-07:00

today was another long but productive day, so the evening's menu held extra special appeal to me

first, it was Thai sweet potato soup and a build your own salad from the chopped leaf. i will definitely have to go eat there again

then, there was a free showing of The 5ifty/Pacific Cinemathique and it was really well done. of course i got the popcorn, which i never do, and i kind of regret it, but it smelled soooooo good and after a long week, i was extra vulnerable, and it came in a bucket for only 44 more cents so ... yah

i wasn't alone. there were LOTS of buckets in the theatre

to cap it all off, back at the office i discovered a box of dark chocolates, already opened, beckoning to me

i responded in kind
i'm good that way

oh yah

2011-09-14T15:46:00.000-07:00

Have you ever kept a book from the library instead of returning it, paying the missing fee just so you could keep it?

hello.

the first time i 'remember' doing this was for this fantastic book.

it made me feel excited and happy to read it and also just a tinge naughty. growing up in church i was never really sure just where that line ought to be regarding all things goulish and halloweeny.

rest assured that after watching all the nightmare on elm streets i figured it out.

maybe

now i totally want to read this again.

last book

2011-09-13T15:50:00.000-07:00

so today's prompt was: what was the last book you returned to the library?

i have to admit that i cannot remember. i know i received a few phone calls from the petrolia library this summer, saying that a book i had ordered was ready to be picked up if i still wanted it. i never went, though, because i had no memory of ordering anything. a lot of the books i requested were ones on a long waiting list, so by the time they showed up in my name, i had either already purchased and read them or just.plain.given.up.

it helped that i started working in a bookstore last june, also. once i was surrounded by some of the best literary works available, the library became a distant cousin.

i have been to the library, here, exactly one time since moving a month ago. i have visited the independent bookstore three times but so far have yet to make a purchase there. i did order this for my work and it should get here this week and no, you cannot look inside for real

all in good time.

for now, i'm reading reports, facebook statuses and texts.

childhood bedroom

2011-09-12T09:52:00.000-07:00

i have had more than one childhood bedroom. i have no idea what it would be like to be born, raised and then leave only one home. the whole concept is as foreign and bizarre to me as my "constant" moving is to those who remain firmly planted in one location.

the first one i remember, i also shared with my mummo (my mom's mom). i fondly remember being tucked in by her after i had fallen asleep reading. i remember because most times i only pretended to fall asleep, so i could relish the feeling of the blankets being literally tucked all around my wee 7 year old form.
one of my most cherished memories for sure.

then we moved to a different part of the city, to a big house with a ravine and corn fields to explore. i no longer shared a bedroom and had carpeting EVEN IN THE CLOSET! wow. talk about heaven. i used to play barbies in that closet, happily, until i discovered the neighbour boys preferred dinky cars. so the dolls were mostly abandoned for the dirt and fresh air. part of the time, i slept downstairs on a cot, in my sleeping bag, since we didn't have central air in those days. tons of amazing memories in that house.

then we moved again, this time buying a house, and i, once again, had a bedroom to myself. in fact, my brother and i had the whole upstairs to invade and i relished it. my room wasn't carpeted for long (vomiting incident) as we revealed beautiful hardwood underneath. i do have one regret about this bedroom ... i took the darkest blue paint i think i have ever seen and painted a very ugly splotch beside my bed, so i could write notes and phone numbers in chalk.
i did not ask for permission first.
it did not go over well.
i was too proud to admit that i, too, hated it.

two more bedrooms were "mine" before i got married. this is the last one i have a picture of

sunday stuff

2011-09-11T19:11:00.000-07:00

first off, we checked out the winter sport show and swap at the kelowna curling club yesterday and loaded up with snow stuff, ready to hang at big white as soon as the flakes fall. twice we were called hard core. yah, more like unprepared. and we spent a small fortune but left super happy. we didn't buy any skis, or boards or boots, but this is the picture i have ...

while we were trying on gear and making choices, this row of skis went down no less than three times, like the grand poo-bah of dominoes, echoing in the gym. awesome.

since my bike is now fixed, i figured our day should also include a ride, so we pedalled to the lake and rotary marsh.

some ducks were waddling up the hill, toward us, so i videotaped them, in case anything remarkable occurred.
nothing.
as could have been predicted. but i did get this shot and am quite fond of it. i hope they don't mind.

market day

2011-09-10T08:33:00.000-07:00

return to that time

2011-09-09T11:06:00.000-07:00

If you could return to a place you once lived, where would you go?

I am so enamoured with the forward thrust of life in many ways. I think that I often joke about wanting to be 20 again, but only to relive certain parts. I don't really want to be in that skin twice.
I have learned so much about myself and met so many amazing people, travelled, read, written, drafted and filed away far too much to ever want to go back and do things over again.
I used to sit and daydream about making better or different choices, going back, knowing what I know now, but I have decided it's fruitless.

I made the decisions I made and they made me who I am now.
You can't just go back and choose only the good parts. If I were to return, I'd have to go through all the really shitty parts, too.

and that's just not something I want to think too hard about.

life is good.
life is short.
life is full.

cease it.

if only

2011-09-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

If you could return the decorations in one room of your house, which would it be?

this one is easy, for a change.
nothing.

for real.

i have done so much purging and packing over the last three years that there really isn't a whole lot left as far as decorations go. the art on our walls was created by my husband, myself, michelle or brought back from travels around the big wide world.

i'm satisfied.

now to actually get it on some walls

the first thing you see

2011-09-07T10:06:00.000-07:00

the first thing you see when you walk in my house is either the pile of boy's shoes or the painting.

I would hope your eyes would bypass the footwear and focus on the artwork. It's kind of symbolic when I think about it.
Many of the new beginnings in my journey have been immortalized on canvas by the same artist.

My wedding day
The birth of each of my boys
My birthday the first year I met her

and now, upon our move to British Columbia

I see these pieces as subtle reminders of all the good people I have woven into the very fibre of my being.
and this is good
and this makes me smile

a couple years ago or so

2011-09-06T19:20:00.000-07:00

there wasn't a prompt for today so i took to scrolling through pictures and found some from a bit ago that made me smile.
I remembered how happy i was to finally have settled on a tattoo design and then to have found an artist i thought was up to the challenge.
malibu did a great job, listening to what i wanted and designing something that blended the two ideas perfectly.

it wasn't exactly to today's date or anything, but it was summerish and that's close enough for me.

can you tell i have ink on the mind?

some folks say there ain't no bears in arkansas

2011-09-05T08:41:00.000-07:00

How do you feel when you return home at the end of the day?

this, for me, is different.
i am still getting used to the place i now live.
like this afternoon, for example, as i was working on the computer i was suddenly struck with that feeling of "where am i?"
not in a bad way, just an awareness that i was busy working yet in the back of my mind i knew it was in a different place than i have been for the last couple of years. it hadn't been long enough to say "few" years for the last house, but i have a feeling that time is going to fly and before i know it, i'll have been a couple years here, too.

here is beautiful, but it's a tad early to say it feels like home. so much i haven't even explored yet. in fact, i don't even know what direction i'm going when i get in the car (ok, so i barely did in ontario either)

in any case, on the eve of a new school year, we went for a drive/walk to a mountain just a few minutes down the road. we saw four deer and made plans to come again another day when we have more time

and maybe some bells

and then we drove home

chicago

2011-09-04T16:04:00.002-07:00

we had no idea that the day we picked to hang in chicago was also the day that most of the downtown was congregating in the park for some family day celebrations. not usually a big deal except it was also a bears game night so we had to pay a premium for parking. ouch.

and it was hot.
stinking hot.
but the live music made up for it. casino vs. japan was spinning some mixes and the sound swelled, filling the whole grassy knoll. i wanted to just lay down and soak it in but we didn't have long to stop.

along the way

2011-09-03T07:45:00.000-07:00

i usually just call this a wordless weekend, but in keeping with the theme of return, i thought i would post some pics that evan took. i am definitely not a photographer but he likes to snap shots as often as possible and i think he's a little bit better than just allright, too.

i spy me cooling off in a public fountain, in chicago. man do i love this city. i could easily transport myself here.

and of course, the bean. what would a visit to chicago be without a bean sighting?

back to school

2011-09-02T16:15:00.000-07:00

it's that time of year again, the time i most often associate with new beginnings and fresh starts, way more than new year's day. i used to love the first few days of school.
i especially loved back to school shopping, even for things like paper and pencils and binders. we used to hit crappy tire with all the money my parents had kept aside and get a lot of the stuff my kids now get at staples or target.

but it never took long for kids to wreck my stuff, writing on my "big eraser", borrowing my favourite pencil and forgetting to return it, you know. i'm sure it happened to you, too.

not that it really mattered.
for as much as i used to love the beginning of school, i was totally into throwing away every scrap of work i could the minute the end of the year arrived, and with every bit of enthusiasm as i began with.

school
still a perennial favourite.

last post of august

2011-08-31T20:48:00.000-07:00

I truly do not know where the summer has gone, and would be more than a little bit bummed by that fact, except I love my job and so my disappointment with summer's end is happily displaced with thoughts of the fall and all the clients it brings. I'm also curious to experience my first ever autumn out west.

Tonight was a great night for a bike ride, but even though my groovy bike has successfully been repaired for a measly $35, thank you very much union cycle I was not able to go for a ride. This is what everyone else saw at the park.

Dance lessons
yoga classes
and the last music and movie for the season.
bummer I missed every one.
c'est la vie.

I stayed home 'cause I have lots of reading to do in preparation for first aid/cpr training tomorrow.

I totally have no memory of any pre-reading in times past, but I also don't remember being able to get certification in only one day so I'd say it's a happy trade off.
It's been a long time since I took the course and it will be a long day, but then it's one last long weekend til we hunker down and settle in to our new routine.

life is good.

sarah's key

2011-08-30T20:46:00.001-07:00

it isn't a new book. I'm so behind now that I'm not in the book world on any sort of regular basis. but it was still a book I really enjoyed.

sarah's key, by tatiana de rosnay.

I do admit to being a fan of historical fiction, especially when it is about an event I knew nothing about previously. sarah's key takes place in paris, 1942, intertwining 10-year-old sarah starzynski's horrific story with that of julia Jarmond, an american journalist assigned to research the Velodrome d'Hiver event, 60 years after it happened. it happens that in her sleuthing, julia discovers a family secret that connects her husband's family to sarah, tying in the past with the present in a believable way.

I had never heard about the round up of more than 12 000 jews by the french police. I also had not read an account so explicit as tatiana's apart from schindler's list. I was not able to put the book down once I carved out some time to really read on sunday. my eyes did not remain dry, either.

I know it is "only" a work of fiction, but imagine being a small, frightenend girl, forced to act as an adult because her mother was incapacitated by fear when the french police pounded on their door, demanding everyone inside to gather what they could then leave. picture the same girl making the decision to hide her as of yet unnoticed four year old brother inside a secret cupboard, locking him in, with the promise that she would return for him later that day. try to comprehend the immense guilt she then lived with as one day turned into the next, and the next until she finally lost count, consumed with the thought of his little body suffocating to death, wondering why she forgot about him.

I wanted to know so much more about sarah than the book revealed, but it was still an enjoyable read that I highly recommend.

in the shop

2011-08-29T23:07:00.000-07:00

my groovy bike is in the shop.
it's pretty exciting for me, really, cause I haven't ridden it in almost six years. see, that korean boy who lived with us for a couple of months back in '07 SWORE he knew how to ride, so I lent him my groovy bike.

he.so.did.not.know.how.

and he crashed
and the back tire kind of collided with the back fender and, well, it got hung up in one garage, two garages, three garages until we moved here last week and decided we should get it fixed so my sorry ass can get some exercise again. I am going to be "over the hill" in november, you know.

so we put it in the trunk and drove to the closest shop. that's when I discovered that the law in BC says everyone must wear a helmet.
everyone.

maybe I'm just being vain here, but, honestly? ok. I KNOW I'm just being vain here, but if I have been able to ride a bike for 31 years (because I remember vividly the day I learned, and I was 8, trust me) without a helmet, what is going to convince my hair to suddenly don one? I can only imagine how great it would look. last time I tried helmets on, it seemed that due to the relative smallness of my noggin, I needed the toddler size. do you know how ridiculous that looks?

I didn't have much more success obtaining a BC license either. seems that back in december, when I thought I had lost my license and, so, sent away my ten dollars and a request for a new one, the re-issue date says january 6, 2011. only it doesn't say "re" issue, just issue. so it looks like I've only had my license since then, and here they need proof of at least two years driving.

thank goodness I have a great shoe collection. looks like I'll be walking a fair bit.

wiki love

2011-08-28T22:35:00.000-07:00

researching tonight, I stumbled upon this wikipedia article.

huh. who knew?

Educational Therapy

this is what I do, kids.
this is what I love.

wordless weekend

2011-08-27T21:36:00.000-07:00

flashback friday

2011-08-26T10:46:00.000-07:00

as the dust settles and things are slowly taking shape in our new home, I've been able to take a look at some emails and get a bit organized. I've been meaning to post pictures from my last two performances for a while. looks like today is the day.

I miss my sisters. such happy memories.

plumb

2011-08-25T10:18:00.000-07:00

i cannot tell you how much i like noisetrade. check them out if you haven't already. there are tons of artists to choose from and it's easy to promote.

mostly fiction

2011-08-24T17:52:00.001-07:00

i think it's kind of cool that a few of the books i read this past year have been made into movies. the chances of me going to the movies to see any of them are pretty slim (way too much energy to sit in a theatre) but i added them to my list of movies i want to rent when i'm in the mood.

here's an approximate list of the books i read this past year ... and remember, i had one of the coolest jobs in the world working at an indie bookstore so i got to read advanced copies of novels before they were officially released! it also helped if i read what was current ... such a hardship ;)
this is a list off the top of my head of the titles i remember, though i happily devoured way more titles than listed here:

the forgotten garden * kate morton
the distant hours * kate morton
beatrice and virgil * yann martel
c'mon papa * ryan knighton
the book of awesome * neil pasricha
one day * david nikolls
the spare room * helen garner
far to go * alison pick
the guernsey, literary and potato peel society * mary ann shaffer and annie barrows
blue nude * elizabeth rosner
mennonite in a little black dress * rhoda janzen
the poisonwood bible * barbara kingsolver
the help * kathryn stockett
the sandalwood tree * elle newmark
half broke horses * jeannette walls
reading like a writer * francine prose
last living slut * roxana shirazi (definitely adult only)
life of pi * yann martel
the swell season * josef skvorecky
the tower, the zoo and the tortoise * julia stuart
an object of beauty * steve martin
assorted christopher moore
assorted books on learning disabilities
one day * david ni
endless love * scott spenser (boy that was an eye opener almost thirty years later)
ape house * sara gruen
the birth house * amy mckay
a complicated kindness * miriam toews
february * lisa moore
the slap * christos tsiolkas (did not like or finish)
the room * emma donoghue (did not like or finish
parrot and olivier in america * Peter Carey
the sentimentalists * Johanna Skibsrud (meant to finish but got bored)
the weed that strings the hangman's bag * alan bradley
one for the money by janet evanovich (seriously painful but i made a deal with a customer)
the paris wife * paula mcclain
jane *
believe me * nina killham
the year of living biblically * a j jacobs
mister pip * lloyd jones
the heroines * eileen favourite
publish this book * stephen markley
baby catcher * peggy vincent
waiting for joe * sandra birdsell
godmother: the secret cinderella story * carolyn turgeon

on my nightstand ... sarah's key * tatiana de rosnay

oh for the time to read some more.

settling in

2011-08-23T21:36:00.000-07:00

today was another beautiful sunny day and I think we got lots done. not really sure. still lots to do, like sit on the grass in the park and eat ice cream

cause soon enough, it will be touque time

been a while

2011-08-22T23:02:00.001-07:00

while i do seem to thrive on change, i must admit that this move has taken a fair bit out of me. it was a long drive, to put it mildly, and though we really wanted it to be a vacation, trust me ... it was not. except for the time we spent in banff.

that was definitely worth repeating.

so the truck arrived late sunday morning and i went shopping with my friend so i wouldn't be cranky, thinking about just how much it all cost to move and how half of it probably could have been given away or tossed in the first place.

now i am purging.

and i am happy to report that the office is set up, as of 10:59 pm, monday. i guess that means it's almost time to go back to work.

funny.
that sentence just put a smile on my face.

vacation day

2011-08-18T20:32:00.003-07:00

a random lady asked us to take a picture of her family, then insisted she return the favour

well done

banff

2011-08-17T16:34:00.000-07:00

so here we stay for a couple of days
most excellent choice, if i do say myself

montana to calgary

2011-08-16T08:28:00.002-07:00

the best part of billings, montana was the steak. like maybe the.best.steak.ever.good. but it was also state fair week so trying to find a place to sleep was not going to happen. we had to hop in the car and drive for a while to find last night's gem.

it smelled like dill.
like serious dill.

and it had the kind of hallways featured in the shining (not that i have ever seen the shining. but i've been told). the internet was not working properly which made me realize that while it was fun to mostly take a break from texting and stuff, i was starting to miss it. it was, also, ironically, the most expensive room we have stayed in on our trek so far.

today we drove ten hours. well, he drove while i listened to music and played in my yes and know secret pen hangman book or ate. i'm not the most awesome passenger. i get wobbly legs. and i forget to take pictures, or the ones i do take are not not anything. i know because i ask my family and they usually say meh so i delete.

and then all you get is a bunch of boring words for a blog post.
and then i go to bed.

on the road again

2011-08-14T19:21:00.004-07:00

arrived safely in rapid city, south dakota. the drive felt pretty long cause there isn't a ton to look at along the way, though you do see the occasional patch of rolling hills and cattle. not like back home ... cows and corn everywhere there. here we saw lots of sunflowers and something else i don't know. maybe sorghum?

first stop was mitchell, minnesota, to see the corn palace. wow. evan didn't even get out of the car. jonam was a trooper. it was ... well, it was a lot of corn that appeared to be glued to the surface of an arena. and inside the arena you could buy jewelery, and magnets and popcorn.

and so i did (minus the jewelery). good times.

then the plan was to drive to somewhere in south dakota. stupid road signs all down the 90 telling you to go to wall drug. even a bumper sticker saying "what the heck is wall drug?" the signs saying fresh homemade donuts finally did it for me. i couldn't resist. the verdict? so not even close to spicer's doughnuts. *sigh* i am just going to have to get over that.

wall drug was fun i suppose. i scarfed down the buffet dinner in a very unladylike and piggish way but girl was hungry! we didn't stay long. it was tacky and touristy and i didn't need a mini licence plate with my name on it as a souvenier thank you.

so now it's of to another hotel, in another state, hopefully to sleep!

kissin the bean

2011-08-13T20:28:00.000-07:00

well, only sort of
i wouldn't really kiss it ... you wouldn't either if you saw all those grimy hand prints but i told joan i would

so i did

i really love chicago

last item on the truck

2011-08-12T20:29:00.000-07:00

... so we must really be moving.
see chris thile loading our patio table? yah, i was shocked, too. had no idea he moon-lighted that way.

sisters finale

2011-08-11T20:33:00.000-07:00

the story of my life

2011-08-10T19:51:00.000-07:00

lately, the story of my life has been saying goodbye. i don't remember it feeling this emotional when we moved overseas. or any of the other fifteen or so times we have moved (not counting the times i moved with my family growing up).

today i thought for sure i was going to be gushing tears.
not one.
i think i cried myself silly sunday, monday and tuesday. maybe i'm getting somewhere afterall.

thanks again for dinner mom and dad. i love you!

just the facts, please

2011-08-08T19:05:00.000-07:00

do you always tell the truth?

today's prompt is loaded. while i would love to answer with a resounding yes, yes, of course i always tell the truth, that would, in itself, be a lie. i don't know if people are capable of always doing things perfectly or ideally, but i do know that i strive to be as honest as possible in every situation and most definitely seek to be true to myself.

i have always told my friends that i would rather they be honest with me and risk making me feel embarrassed or hurt than let me keep doing stupid things. so far i have had very few take up the challenge. i understand.

i have often been called prickly.
i think another adjective could be brutally honest.
sometimes the truth hurts.

telling the truth isn't all it's cracked up to be.

a funny thing happened on the way to the lampshade

2011-08-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

wordless weekend

2011-08-06T17:36:00.000-07:00

we even exchanged books this night

2011-08-05T07:28:00.000-07:00

What is the best first sentence you can think of off the top of your head?

Then she turned and walked away because the words had all been said, her face could find no more expression and her time, truly, had been spent, but never once did she feel alone.

not fiction

2011-08-04T18:04:00.000-07:00

tonight i sang with my 'sisters' for the second last time. next week, at Victoria Playhouse, Petrolia, we do our finale.

a bittersweet symphony

if I was there

2011-08-03T05:12:00.000-07:00

have you ever wished you could enter a book?

and how
time and time again.
even the creepy ones. except never V.C. Andrews. shudder. those books scare the pants off me. at least they did, back in my tween/early teen days. you know, those long, ever-lasting days of summer when you have absolutely nothing on your agenda and no one looking to you to do anything for them?

in those days I saturated myself with the wickedly wonderful words of go ask alice, endless love and forever, to name only a few. talk about eye openers.

I was also a ring leader at the school library where censorship was concerned. our public school librarian used to white out words and phrases she felt were inappropriate for our age. um, how about just don't have those adult books in a children's library?

in any case, I was the kid sitting at the table, gently scraping the white out off the fine print while a crowd of eager eyes drew unnecessary attention to the goings-on inevitably landing me a good screaming "for show" and another temporary library ban.

is it a surprise I went on to study literature in school or just ironic?

I do know that I wanted to enter pretty much every single book I wrapped my grubby little hands on. nothing was off-limits in my mind and I am glad of it. I have a general understanding of lots of topics, a wide and varied imagination and an appreciation of the stranger things in life as a direct result.

I love to read
I love to write
and there are still plenty of worlds to enter

An Object of Beauty – Steve Martin - book review

2011-08-02T10:55:00.001-07:00

first off, let me state that I hate writing book reviews. I prefer to enjoy a book or not enjoy it and just verbalize in person, if you care to ask. second, I just go read my friend Sarah's review of said book or tell her she has to read it if she hasn't already. much simpler.

In any case, I have written quite a number of book reviews, this being one:

I have long been a fan of Steve Martin, admiring his wit and undeniable charm, through his novels and movies but I somehow missed that he had written something new until I found this gem: An Object of Beauty. I am utterly in love. It helped that it was released at the perfect time to purchase myself a birthday present, lucky me. Martin is a genius of a wordsmith, lush, eloquent and timely.

Lacey Yeager is the main character, though the story is not told in first person. Daniel Franks, her biggest fan and confidante, lets the reader in on the story instead. I love that he is the one telling the tale, as the reader is privy to information she is not willing to admit or divulge herself.

Lacey is described by Daniel as a head-turner with perfect skin and the ability to get whatever she wants, anywhere, anytime. As the novel proceeds, you become further impressed by her prowess, wondering, perhaps, how in the world Steve Martin is able to portray the character of a power hungry woman so convincingly. I liked Lacey Yeager enough I suppose, though I knew I would never befriend someone like her.

The interjection of art plates in the novel may at first seem a little disjointed, but paints a side picture crucial to the storyline. The reader is further drawn in, questioning who or what an actual object of beauty is; Lacey? or the valuable pieces of artistry she purchases, sells and otherwise melds herself into? Who gets to decide what is beautiful and valuable? Is it acceptable to lie and steal if, as in Robin Hood, everyone truly deserving gets a cut? Is all fair in love and art?

Lacey cares about one thing in life: herself, and she will do whatever it takes to ensure that she is the centre of attention while constantly on the rise. She leaves a wake of destruction behind her, never bothering to clean up her messes. Daniel trails alongside, or rather in behind, as often as she allows it, nearly invisible to her, except when she finds him particularly charming or useful.

An absolute object of beauty … you should make this one book treat yourself to for 2011.

more fiction

2011-08-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

who is your favourite author?

well, first of all, you are asking the wrong girl. i mean, honestly, does anyone out there have one favourite? i remember how much of a panic i was in when a former employer asked her staff to list their top 5 or so novels. talk about next to impossible ... i worked in an independent bookstore! i was surrounded by great literature!
having to think about every single book you have ever read and then make comparisions and draw conclusions? what about those books i love to hate? have plenty of them. does that make them favourites, too?

but the first author who popped into my mind today was steve martin.
for real

yah. which is kind of odd since i have only read three of his books:
shopgirl
the alphabet from a - y with bonus letter z
and an object of beauty

looking at his filmography list, i discovered i have seen almost every single movie attached to his name. i am definitely a martin fan. it's a toss up between l.a. story and mixed nuts for top place. i barely remember anything about l.a. story, i watched it ever so long ago, but some things just stick in your memory for one reason or another. i remember feeling quite attached after viewing it and have been trying to find a copy ever since. mixed nuts is an annual must see around here. hardly anyone else i know has ever heard of it, and of the handful that have, even fewer appreciate it. i dig it hugely.

i'm not really a banjo fan, for sure, but the boy can play! took me years to even find out that he was a musician at all. man, what can't he do?

fiction

2011-08-01T14:44:00.001-07:00

What is your favourite book?

I do love to read ... when I get the chance. not many chances these days. life is going full steam ahead and I am incredibly thankful for that right now. makes all the goodbyes that much easier. as if saying goodbye can ever be considered easy.

I finally picked up a copy of Sarah's Key and was totally relived to read that my good friend Sarah loved it. at least I know I will too. seriously, we have this same book love thing going on. except for her love of janet evanovich.

never.will.understand.that.

should have jumped in

2011-07-31T19:35:00.002-07:00

but i seem to be rather attached to my phone. i think he takes pictures like this every once in a while to show me how addicted to the thing i am. i promise i looked up from time to time to see a barge go under the bridge and to people watch.

i will miss driving down to the bridge to watch the kids jump off the side, into the swirling, freezing cold current of water, scramble back up the rocks and repeat.

i've never actually jumped myself but neal has, back in the day.
it's apparently against the law yet there's always a crowd waiting their turn.

maybe if i was twenty years younger ...

packing

2011-07-30T11:26:00.000-07:00

i'm not even going to try to make a connection to the word swim for this post. i just thought my cat looked super cute, so i snapped a picture. im in the middle of packing, so cut me some slack.

my head is swimming

2011-07-29T15:39:00.000-07:00

i hope i'm
creative enough
strong enough
empathetic enough
a good enough friend
giving enough
educated enough
open enough

going to make a difference

irritation

2011-07-28T11:40:00.000-07:00

What is your biggest pet peeve?

well ... i have a few. apparently i keep most of them shelved, though, unlike SOME PEOPLE who i live with!

it seems *i* irritate those in this shared dwelling fairly often. imagine that. like when i hang things on doorknobs. huh. or "forget" to put new rolls of toilet paper in the cupboard. usually bites me in the butt first anyway, so i fail to see the importance, really.
or when i leave clothes in the washer
or conveniently "forget" to start cooking at a good time so we have to go to the grocery store and purchase new foodstuffs or have to go out to eat.
tragic.

or the fact that i won't call to order pizza. barb knows. i.just.don't.
that's why i had kids, right?

or when i say i'll be somewhere then change my plans when something else comes along that also sounds like a grand idea. and i don't always apologize for it.

wow.

i really *am* irritating

not in my mouth

2011-07-26T18:45:00.000-07:00

when i first started blogging with this month's theme of swim i wasn't entirely sure i could come up with enough stuff.
was.i.wrong.

seems like every time i start to write a post lately, it has water or aquatic parts to it, even if i don't intend it to.
tonight was no exception.

see, we had a rather impressive storm out in these parts on saturday night. i only know this, really, because i was sitting in a pub eating chicken wings and drinking orange juice when it started to get a little windy. no big deal ... the pub is at the lake so it's normal for the weather to be slightly exaggurated (must be what draws me). i was INside the restaurant, talking away happily with a friend i hadn't seen in about a year when i noticed the people on the patio were looking over the water. not to be outdone, i looked, too.

i saw nothing

then neal pointed out the two funnel shaped clouds, hovering over the lake but not touching. crazy. then the rain came. pounding, driving, should.be.hail.in.there. rain. everyone OUTside had to suddenly bring their foodstuffs in, where there was a serious lack of seating. i still didn't really think much of the storm cause i knew it would pass soon enough and we would get back to the movie set where neal and our friend were acting in possibly the second cheesiest movie yet made. (kudos to my friend for being in the MOST cheesy movie ever. i watched the trailer today. wow. he should not tell any more people)

well, it has been both speculated and confirmed by a well respected farmer in the area that a funnel cloud did, indeed, touch down, taking five hydro towers and 22 utility poles out. there were also assorted chickens and sheep killed but no count was available. anyway, we came home from filming to find our boys sitting on the livingroom couches, surrounded by lit candles. our power had gone out around 8pm and did not get restored until after 2pm the next day.

why do i tell you all of this? well, first of all, because i didn't think i could get away with posting yet another picture of me at the lake, though that is what i did after i finished work for the day. second, because neal convinced me that the meat in the upper part of our fridge ... that terribly small freezer section ... was still crystallized and was, therefore, fine. i am fairly certain i suggested, calmly, that the ice crystals were, in fact, only on the packaging, and not encompassing said meats. i was overruled.

let's just say that the next time i come in contact with salmon that tastes and smells more like sausage, i will know better.

swim night again

2011-07-25T19:25:00.000-07:00

we scored tonight for sure ... waves ... and lots of them.
i know they look weeny in the picture but trust me, they weren't. the undertow wasn't too bad, which is a good thing, cause we like to ride them as far back into shore as we can. when the undertow is strong, you get sucked under and held for a long time. makes what is supposed to be fun turn kinda scary pretty quickly.

the sun shone long into the evening and we had the entire beach front to ourselves (mostly cause this beach is private, but still).
last night was great, just me and my oldest, even though i came out of the water with a seaweed bathing suit underneath my real one.
sick
and totally worth it

this beach is nicer, even though it's maybe only a five minute drive down from the public one and it is usually all sand. because of the big storm saturday, though, there were pebbles for the first few feet. no big deal.
i had a blast

... there's just something about me and water

flashback

2011-07-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

i hope i haven't already posted this picture. it is one of my all time favourites. it's going back some thirteen or so years. taken at ipperwash beach, by my father in law. my two beautiful boys. seems like just yesterday they were
this small
this limited
this content

yet time moves on, and well it should.
i'm glad they are growing
i'm glad we are moving so they can have more opportunities
i'm glad they are mine
for as long as i get them

wordless weekend

2011-07-23T08:55:00.001-07:00

my first

2011-07-22T13:58:00.002-07:00

the other day neal was at the mall, returning something that didn't fit the tallest kid who lives here with us. he wasn't sure how to preface his story at first ... does he call the person who helped him a girl or a lady? he said he was pretty sure she was "my" age (which is a slightly different age than his)
pause
i think he was scared for a minute, wondering what my response might be
i gave him the stare then suggested he go with "girl"

as it turns out, she asked him about one of his tattoos, which, according to him, never happens. see, i get asked about mine all.the.time. but that is likely because i'm a GIRL (just to clarify) and i think girls are generally easier to approach, as strangers. also because i have been told on that part of my half sleeve resembles either a beard ... ok, wow ... an alien (that was funny, margie) or a monster of some kind ... because that is exactly my style.

in any case, he told her that it's a technical design of the original blueprint for a 45 record insert. it is very cool if i do say so myself, but i get what he was saying. unless you are of a certain age bracket (or have very hip parents who have a record player and play 45's now and again for both amusement and to educate your children) you wouldn't have the slightest clue what a 45 was, let alone an insert.

it reminds me of the time neal was talking to one of his co-workers about the dukes of hazzard and she said i think you are wrong. i'm going to go home tonight and watch the movie so i can prove it on monday.
yikes
i am getting older

well, it got us talking about old records, cause the "girl" at the store told neal that the first 45 she ever bought was embarrassing ... the tide is high, by blondie. neal was pretty sure his was by t-pau. (and most likely cause she is a red head). it only took me a second to recall mine, including the day i bought it.

i remember watching american bandstand every saturday with my brother. sometimes we even watched soul train. i'm pretty sure we hopped on our bikes when it was over and rode to good old elgin mall where, at dr. disc, i handed over my hard-earned babysitting moolah for this:

and, now, i so wish i had been as cool as the girl at bluenotes.
and if i look half as good as debbie harry does now, when i'm her age, i don't care what you call me.

if i had a pool

2011-07-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

... i would so relish the cool water, but, alas, i am far too lazy to even think about maintenance so a pool owner i doubt i will ever be.
and in lots of ways, i prefer swimming in the lake anyway. i don't even care about the e-coli warnings. never used to matter when i was a kid.

my babysitter would take me to the lake on a regular basis, treating me to mackie's fries and orange aide. i seem to remember that it was her grandpa or someone closely related that opened mackies in the first place. swell guy, whoever he was. i love their special sauce, too. don't care what its made of, kerrie ... can't sway me. it was a ritual of summer.

this is so totally and completely, hands down, my most favourite season of all. i can never get enough of summer.

i love the things that summer brings

i remember day camp counselling, late night swims, camping out on the sand overnight, talking till dawn, eating toasted tomato sandwhiches and drinking swiss mocha coffee. my best memories are all from summers. summer just always feels real, and right
summer renews my faith in a lot of things
summer restores what winter tried to take away

i will even admit to reading an article in cosmo stating that men desire more intimacy in summer (july to be presise). huh. i should poll my lady friends and ask if they concur

i'm kind of guessing that with this heat wave, they could care less
... unless they have a pool ;)

bucket list?

2011-07-20T08:34:00.000-07:00

my boys had the pleasure and privilege of working just.one.more.time with the infamous nancy keys, here in town. i know we are all going to miss young company, now known as lambton young theatre players.

having my kids in theatre has opened their eyes to so much more than even i anticipated. they are polite, can speak easily in groups, and have little trouble addressing a crowd (especially if they can make the people laugh). they have had to memorize lines, co-ordinate schedules, do a lot of thankless, behind the scenes grunt work and put their best foot forward regardless of their audience.

putting on a poker face is also a useful skill (thank you ever so much to colin doyle for teaching them how to play. the other missionary families in png appreciated it immensely when my boys tried to pass the skill on), as is stomping as a group, wearing bunny ears well and making it appear as though your off-key choral singing was all part of the plan.

hot

2011-07-19T18:36:00.000-07:00

... no, not me ... this week. it's been hot (i love it) and it's supposed to get hotter by thursday. not anywhere near as humid as we had it in png, but still very worth mentioning.

i had the best weekend of my life in as long as i can recall this past friday, saturday and sunday. barely slept just so i could let it linger as long as possible.

... now reality must set in.

i loved the dragonfly and the casino and walking at dark
i loved feeling free as a bird for just.one.night.
and now i have these most amazing memories. the kind that if i tried to write them down for you wouldn't do them justice.
so i'll just look again and again at the pictures that were taken of some of the moments and the rest i'll keep inside.

followers

2011-07-13T19:19:00.000-07:00

as a side note, for some bizarre reason, my followers list disappeared a while back and I have tried to figure it out multiple times, but ... yah.

so, I just wanted you to know that I did not remove you, or hide you or anything of the sort. you just disappeared on me, randomly, and hopefully you all will return, just as randomly, and all will be well with the world again.

so so good makes my head swim

2011-07-13T17:16:00.000-07:00

one of my favourite stores of ever

sinking feeling

2011-07-11T19:14:00.000-07:00

i already know i'm a freak because i have heard it said to me so many stinking times. people generally use nicer words, however, such as:

ha ha ... nerd
you're so funny
you are seriously weird
wow, you're eccentric
you are such a spaz
the word I would use to describe you is bombastic (personal fave)

today was no exception. all day i had the sinking feeling that i was forgetting something i was supposed to be doing; somewhere i was supposed to be. i got lots of phone calls but no one scolded me so that sort of set my mind at ease.

i checked my email frequently and answered anything important. that's a first.

facebook messages were replied to, also ... i think

the door even got knocked on once but it was a friend so i had to emerge from my bedroom where i instinctively ran to hide. she didn't mind my pjs and streaked mascara one bit. sadly, i think she's gotten used to it, especially if she shows up before 11 am.

i'm not ashamed. i will have to change that, however, as my hours at work were altered now that school is no longer in session. somehow i have to make myself hear the alarm now, two whole days each week.

for, like, four.weeks.in.a.row

wish me luck.

sink?

2011-07-10T18:17:00.000-07:00

this little guy either fell out of the tree or got kicked out. don't get me wrong here, cause i loves my boys, but some days ... let's just say if the bird got kicked out by mama, i understand.

a lady in town who frequently nurses wee animals back to health came and got the bird. hopefully he survived. the sun was smokin hot that day, and his eyes weren't always open. i felt better when she came to get him, even if he is "just" a starling.

swimmingly swell

2011-07-09T19:13:00.000-07:00

today I got my first chance to wear my vintage 1950's dress in public. the jacket part is just so stinking cute I couldn't leave it off, even though it felt like a sauna out today. I love singing with my sisters and am going to miss it something terrible.

art in the park was fantastic. great feedback, nice variety of vendor items, super entertainment and the best back to back weather we've had yet.

I've been going non stop since I got in my car early tuesday morning, and tomorrow is full, too. I missed a friend's happy anniversary celebration this afternoon (50 years for neil and jesse!) and was too tired to attend a lamb roast tonight

but

I've got a smile on my face and I don't think it's leaving any time soon.

things went swimmingly

2011-07-07T20:12:00.000-07:00

what a great week so far. driving was fairly uneventful, except of course the first cut off to waterloo had to be closed literally less than twenty feet away from where I needed to turn.
and so was the second one.
the third exit was so remote and hilly I could have sworn I was in the foothills of good ole tennessee. I even had to dodge numerous piles of fresh horse droppings since the road took me through amish country. would have been really breath taking if I hadn't already been driving close to three hours at this point.

I stayed with a very close friend for the couple nights I was in town. perfect. we got to eat at a favourite restaurant of ours, sat out on her front porch with some tasty beverages and other friends, slept super well, enjoyed a night walk for some tea and spent time just being able to talk, talk, talk. I felt so calm the days I was there ... I was so sad to leave.

my course was fantastic. I learned tons and even got to speak tok pisin in the last five minutes, seemingly out of nowhere, as I discovered one of the level I's, over from Seattle, is soon leaving for PNG. I took a chance and asked him a question in tok pisin and with super wide eyes he happily answered back!

the drive home was fine, also. perfect weather and not too many slow drivers to make me crazy. mcdonalds was, as usual, mouth-wateringly amazing for the first third then completely vomitrotious for the last. I have no idea why I keep trying to win myself over when I know this is exactly how it's going to go. creature of habit, I guess.

tomorrow commences art in the park ... early.

sink or swim

2011-07-04T19:59:00.000-07:00

I'm off to school again tomorrow for a real quick course and, very conveniently, have a day off in between classes. most excellent.
hello springrolls with a very close friend
hello waterloo

wordless weekend

2011-07-03T20:32:00.000-07:00

swimwear

2011-07-02T11:44:00.000-07:00

so i was in a parade yesterday, in grand bend. don't think i've been on a float since i was like three. my mom bought me some weeble wobbles after that event. i remember playing with them in a store window. no idea why. that's just what i remember. i do admit to having an active imagination (and personality to match).

this float was like a last hurrah, singing in one of marion kernoghan's shows, wearing another of her vintage fashions. mine was a late 1800's silk bathingsuit. ironically, i was wearing a bikini underneath.

sisters by choice serenaded the crowds from the main street to the beach and back. it was pretty crowded, as usual, and even though it was stinkin hot, it was a good time. we sang: alexander's rag time band, boogie woogie bugle boy, in the good old summertime, sentimental journey, at the hop and our own rendition of oh canada.
i'll miss it
huge

*as a side note, while my legs do really go on forever, i am not that much of an amazon as it would appear in this photograph. i'm just in the foreground.

swimming ducks

2011-07-01T11:27:00.000-07:00

so the town allowed us to write on the sidewalks, to advertise the events coming up next weekend in town. this one is for the rubber duckie race.
let's just hope it doesn't rain.

fan of westjet

2011-06-30T18:53:00.000-07:00

wednesday was a long day. our first flight left kelowna international airport at 7:15 am, which didn't sound too awful when I first booked it, but I never think about how early I will actually have to leave my bed in order to get to the airport.
ugh.
and I so did not want to come back home.

good thing I am a very light packer. only took a carry-on bag and my laptop. I do love clothes and shoes but I can also be pretty practical when I need to be. the best part was not having to check it all and wait for it. it thankfully meant a breazy time at every airport there and back. well done.

no one stepped on my toes, tv was pretty decent (coming from a girl with no cable or satellite anyway) and I actually slept a bit on the way home, too. all our flights were uneventful, on time, and during the day so there was a lot of stuff to see out the window if I wanted.

but five flights in less than two months makes me think I'm good for a while again.

tuesday fan

2011-06-29T18:23:00.000-07:00

tuesday I had the day off to check stuff out, shop and get my bearings as a whole.

it started out at bean scene, over a cup of vegan basmati rice pudding and a mug of okanagan white vanilla tea. so yum.

sunglasses are a must in kelowna, and mine recently broke, so I had to get a new pair.

the vintage 1950's cotton dress and matching balero jacket was also, suddenly, a must. michelle knows all the coolest cats and where they sell their wares. I took it to my friend marion, who is the wonderful woman sisters by choice are privileged to sing and model for, and she told me I had better keep an eye on it because she wants it. high praise from the woman who owns the largest and coolest dressup things in the entire world. she also told me to let my husband know that I got a real steal; she has yet to purchase anything from that era for so little.

sweetens the deal even more.
one day I'll post pics of me and the dress in all its glory.

fan of el dorado

2011-06-28T18:12:00.000-07:00

some friends of a friend told us that when we went to kelowna, we had to have a drink at el dorado, since it was one of their favourite places to go and relax. I completely concur.
so beautiful to be right at the water, soaking in the mountains and basking in the sun, sans humidity, on a summer's eve. words really cannot begin to touch the feeling of catching up again, face to face, with old friends, even if one of them is going to try to boss me around from time to time.

fan of earl's

2011-06-27T18:01:00.001-07:00

sunday night dinner was so, so good.
great food
great drinks
great view
great beginning